as you heal your childhood repression.
It’s not your fault, you’re parents have done it to you, they’ve made you feel this way.
me
Well, I'm still slogging away doing my childhood repression healing. About sixteen years now, feeling bad most days, as endless repressed bad feelings surface for me to express and uncover the the truth of. Which is happening, and overall, even though I do often feel bad during the day, I feel so much better than before I began. And some days now I do feel very good. I can't tell you how good it feels to know that I am becoming true leaving all my crap behind. I live in Australia with Marion. She helps us both with our healing. My healing has revealed to me that I don't have a life of my own, only one my parents dictated to me. And I have discovered through the expressing of my repressed feelings that it's uncovering the truth of them - the truth of what I truly feel; the truth of who I really am - that is healing me. I'm 51, Marion's 61, it's December 2012, and she's been working on herself since she was about thirty, but really only since we met and started to live together have we both been able to completely commit ourselves to doing our healing. So that's all we do all day: concentrate on expressing our bad feelings to find the truth of them. Marion is a million times better at it than I am. She's what I'd call a 'natural' at doing it, if there is such a thing. And without her continual scrutiny of me, and pushing me to speak up and speak about how I'm feeling, my healing would take me a thousand years to do – if I was lucky. I am completely new to all of this. Uncovering the psychology of myself was the last thing I thought I'd be doing in life. It was the last thing I was interest in. I knew I needed some sort of healing, and was pursuing spiritual means in the hope of doing it, but healing my childhood repression is entirely something Marion had all but worked out for herself. And it wasn't until we were well into it that we came across one of Alice Miller's book, affirming from a professional point of view that we were on the right track. And how have we worked it all out? Just as you will for yourself as you progress in the healing of your childhood repression. And do I have any qualifications? Nope. Just life, my bad feelings, and living with Marion. And hopefully some of all she innately knows has rubbed off on me. I am someone who likes writing, but has been told writes using incorrect word meanings and too many clichés – whatever they are? So please excuse any errors. I can't spell for nuts, or crackers, or anything else for that matter; and if it wasn't for spell-checking software, you'd never see one word of mine in print. And I love just putting punctuation where I feel I want to put it. And finally, I'm someone who firmly believes – and each day as I progress in my healing I strengthen that belief – that the only way, you, I, or anyone else will ever truly be happy, is by healing their childhood repression. And if humanity wants to help itself instead of just going around in endless circles, then it will have to one day stop and face the truth of early childhood it's refusing to acknowledge and accept. And to think, with the sheer number of people all interested in psychology and supposedly wanting to understand how we tick, it would seem only very few have actually dared to venture into their repressed childhood with the intention of uncovering the truth. And yet it's in the buried part of us that all the causes to every and any problem we might have originates. Everything in our life, within us, begins and ends with our childhood. If we can't sort it out and get it right; if we can't fix the legacy of not being loved as we needed to be, then nothing will ever be right for us. James. Website updated January 2013 |
The truth is always there, if you care to look for it.
We’re all the same, more or less of the same yuk. And we only have to scratch the surface, dig a little deeper, be pushed more into a corner, to see that it’s true.
You will surprise yourself as to what you find out about yourself through your childhood repression healing. It will shame, shock and horrify you. Yet more bad feelings to express and uncover the truth of! We’re evil by default. Even the worst person humanity has created has been made so because of how they were treated during their forming years. It wasn’t their fault, they didn’t wilfully as an adult choose to be evil. None of us have. But we’ve still got to get ourselves out of it.
Spiritual progression just happens, we don’t actually have to do anything to make it happen - not with our minds anyway. However we do have to desire to live true because we’re currently untrue, and therefor stay focused on our feelings trying to express them all. Once we are true however, we won’t have to keep focusing on and trying to express especially all the bad feelings, because we’ll be doing it all naturally without any thought in it. And hopefully we won’t feel bad anyway.
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A new 'religion' based on looking to your feelings for the truth of yourself, and using your feelings to heal yourself.
Link to another of my websites that talks more simply about our bad feeling denial. And a link to Bad Feeling forum, where you can write about your bad feelings. I've also recently started my CR blog again - Feb 2013
Ann and Terry are new to doing their feeling-healing, offering their personal healing experiences while they come to understand what's involved in doing ones feeling-healing.
contact
If you are having difficulties understanding or doing your feeling-healing, then please feel free to contact me. However please understand, that I’m sorry as I won’t be able to help you actually do your healing. It’s enough to keep trying to do my own and write about it. James.
moncriefjames [@] yahoo [.] com [.] au
We’re all of it.
So, we can all help each other out of it.
Well, it’s a nice idea anyway.
links
Divine Love Spirituality
Another web site of mine. Putting it all together. For people interested in taking their healing as far as they can, which includes their soul-healing and doing it all with God; and living a contemporary spirituality, bullshit free, that centres around healing your childhood repression, and cutting out any mind fantasy and delusion.
Alice Miller
Free Alice Miller book: For Your Own Good
Read her books if you want to understand more about childhood repression from a professionals point of view. If you want to genuinely help yourself in any way, read her work - it's a MUST!
Erin Pizzey
Marion and I have found Erin’s books (Scream Quietly or the Neighbours Will Hear, and Prone to violence )very helpful in gaining more insight into our negative unloving condition from the perspective of physical violence in relationships. She intuitively points out the illuminating psychology without taking gender sides in the problems with relationships. From the point of view of adults beating each other and their children up, it’s easy to condemn such hard cases whilst affirming that not being aggressive and violent means one is more loving, kind and caring, particularly in regards to ones children. However what I want to point out is that such violence is merely a more obvious outward display of what goes on in us all, and in those people who are not as violent, it’s just more subtle. I have never hit anyone, nor thankfully been hit by anyone, so do not consider myself a violent man. I believe I am kind, caring and considerate and would never dream of hurting a child. However through my healing I have uncovered all the same problems, anger, frustration, guilt and misery as I have read such people suffer in Erin’s books, only mine is so well hidden, so much less, all because I came from a ‘good’ family, and it’s been very difficult for me to identify such terrible emotions and deeply buried and suppressed feelings. And yet slowly through my healing I have come to see that I am just the same in a feeling sense as the little boy who wants to hit and scream and bite and smash things, people and animals. I feel just as hurt, just as unloved, just as wounded, and want just as much to gain power being able to take out my feelings of powerlessness on someone else. Only I wasn’t allowed to display such bad feelings aggressively, I had to be well-mannered in my middle class family. I had to play the game correctly, I wasn’t allowed to be, as my grandmother often said: ‘one of those uncouth people’.
What I have discovered through my healing is we’re all the same, we’re all fucked, only some show it more outwardly than others. And then I move on one step further in saying that we’re ALL in the same negative boat, and to set ourselves free of it, we need to do our feeling- or soul-healing. And that until we do, we might be able to escape from violent situations, we might be able to make a new start, we might even be able to repay some of the damage we’ve done, yet this will still all be within the negative, just another expression of it. It might be an expression of being more well-adjusted, more ‘loving’, more ‘kind’, ‘caring’ and ‘sympathetic’, however it’s still all within the shit. And not until one seeks the whole truth of ones unloved state can one completely get oneself out of it.
It you are serious about healing your childhood repression, then one of the things you will need to do is become more aware of the psychology of the negative unloving, self-abusing, self-denying state you’re in - we’re all in. And Erin’s books can go a long way toward helping you to understand the effects of unloving parenting.
A.S. Neill - Summerhill
It is nice to read about someone who genuinely cared about children and had the means to try and allow them to be 'free'.
Other book subjects Marion and I have found helpful to understand our childhood repression.
Well written autobiographies including a lot of early childhood experiences so you can see how the persons adult life came about based on how it was for them during their early life. (So often in autobiographies we read the author saying his early life was good, or wasn’t that bad, and then in the next paragraph he or she goes on to tell all the bad things showing the aware reader really how bad it was for them, yet without the author apparently being able to see it - or feel it - for themselves. It’s often interesting seeing how a child portrays a parent, usually the so-called loving one. And being able to see through the fantasy at what that love actually consists of. And then again it’s very nice to read of someone’s general love and affection for their parents - something it seems to be very rare indeed.)
Well written biographies where the author is sympathetic to their subject and astute in their understanding of how childhood affects adult life.
Non-fiction child murder, murder and serial murder stories, in which something of the killers early childhood is written about. His family life - how it was for him, giving a general picture so you can see how he is acting out such trauma in his adult life transferring it onto his victims. Such stories have helped us with the bottom line, to see how bad outwardly humanity is, and to help us see that inwardly, we’re the same - we’re all fucked up.
Anything to do with humanity’s cruelty to nature. How we abuse animals, be it to experiment on them, use them to eat, how we degrade the environment - all the usual environmental abuse. Marion and I have been greatly helped in reading early accounts of the European settlers in Australia and how they ripped the forests down, got rid of so much of the indigenous bush seeing it as something of no value, something in the way, a pest, something stopping them from having the great fantasy life they dreamed of creating for themselves in a new country (just as our parents saw us). And how that same abuse keeps going today, with so little regard for our lovely indigenous plants and animals - reflecting so little regard for ourselves. It’s all helped us to understand something of our heritage, our British and Scottish ancestors, and how little value was, or still is, placed on natures life - just as how little value was placed by our parents on our lives.
Anything written by Australian Aborigines, modern day problems they have to deal with, and all the horrors we white people inflicted on them when we set about initially getting rid of them. Reading about how the native Aborigines so much loved their little children, how their children came first, and how they were all just a part of and at-one with the bush, reflects on how much we hate our children and couldn’t give a shit about the bush. How we persist in living in isolated family units pretending we love one another, when the Aborigines lived in small groups and communities, with no one having to carry the burden of all the children, no one having to survive all on their own. And we, the so-called more advanced and sophisticated white people, came in accusing the blacks of being ignorant, unhealthy and unclean, and yet look who was happy being raised as happy children living a carefree life in the country they loved. And then to read books about them as they tell their stories of being taken as children from their loving families to be made to go to white mans schools and live in white mans homes with white man families, all of whom were nothing like where their hearts were and wanted to be - we couldn’t have treated them worse. And this has all helped Marion and I get a feel for our own yuk, our own unloving families, giving us in the Aborigines a far more personal child-loving and caring way to live compared to our white unloving impersonal child-hating way of being.
I would suggest reading anything about the yuk side of life, all to help make you feel bad and to help you accept the darker side of life, that which most of us are so desperately wanting to avoid at all costs, all so it doesn’t make us feel bad - those same bad feelings we already feel yet are refusing to acknowledge.
Other:
I'm sure there must be other people working to heal and shed light on their childhood repression and childhood repression in general. And as I become aware of them I will add links to them. And if you are such a person, please contact me, as I'd like to know what you're doing and how it's all come about.
because it’s not your true life, it’s one made up by your parents.