who's the guilty one?
Who really is the guilty one?
‘Don’t talk to strange men’ - it’s pounded into you, you’re scared to death of it, yet you have no idea about what it means. Your parent believes they are being good teaching you about such bad things in life, only they are the one’s scaring you to death, doing in essence just what such a bad man would do. And then just to confuse it all the more, suddenly you’re told and made to talk a strange man, but they don’t tell you that this man is not one of those ‘bad’ men.
Unloving attention, such as violence and emotional abuse, can be mistaken as love. When you have no love, knowing nothing about what love is, then such negative attention being all you’ve got becomes ‘love’. And we all do it in one way or another. All our families are unloving and violent, only for those of us who haven’t been beaten every day we think our families were loving because we weren’t treated as badly as some other children where. But your feeling-healing will soon put you straight.
Put yourself through extreme suffering and pain. ‘Oh you’re a brave boy, not letting the illness get the better of you.’ We’re so scared of dying. It’s good to fight and never give in. It’s the way of evil, it’s unloving, to keep making yourself suffer, to never give in and admit defeat - to put on the brave face all the way to the end. Mind over matter. Your feelings don’t matter, only your mind. But your feelings are your pain, not your mind.
We accuse the guilty one who doesn’t break down, cry, and show remorse as being the evil one. We can’t bear it when he brags about his atrocious acts gaining great pleasure from all the hurt he’s inflicted. We say we love our children and aren’t they little darlings and aren’t they sweet and we wouldn't miss out on them for anything in the world. That’s after we’ve just abused the hell out of them and they are finally doing as they are told - being how we want them to be.
What we accuse the bad ones of doing is just a more obvious expression of what we’re doing. We think we’re right and good by being obedient, whilst accusing the people who are not. Yet we are under the power of the wrongness doing all that’s wrong praising our own virtuousness. ‘I’d never to that to a young child’, yet that’s exactly what you are doing, and calling it love. Look deeper at your motives and actions, you might be surprised and then horrified at what you see about yourself.
Evil's deceptiveness. Look who’s belting, yelling at, and punishing the child, yet is saying that it’s doing the right thing and it’s good for the child, so it will learn to be good and stop being bad. Does this child feel loved by its ‘loving’, ‘kind’, ‘caring’ and ‘feeling’ parent? Does the child feel it's a good thing being done to it? Wake up! Look at the pain your are inflicting on your child. Look at the damage you are doing to it, all in the name of righteousness.
We observe young animals training during play, encouraged by their parents, to develop the skills needed for adult life. The baby animals do it naturally, it just happens, they aren’t made to do it by their parents. We believe we have to step in and train our children, because for some strange reason they aren’t capable of doing it for themselves, which is mad as you only have to observe any child playing happily and you can see it can do it all for itself in preparation for its adult life. Yet we step in taking over, controlling it, telling it what to do, when to do it, and how to do it, all to make it live an unnatural life, living untrue and disconnected from itself. Animals always seem to be happy - do we?
Being Task Focused is all very well if you don’t want to involve feelings. And we’re supposed to be Team Players in everything, and if we aren’t then we’re odd and make all the other team players feel rejected. And yet who wants to be a part of a team that is striving to perpetuate evil. Who wants to be part of humanity when all it does is keep ruining nature. And who wants to be part of the family when ones parents shit all over you treating you like they are the only ones who are important. What sort of teams are these? Ones that are too task focused!
Feeling guilty mum... it’s okay. Is the guilt trying to catch up with you, to pin you down, to crucify you... let it. Express all you feel, allow yourself to feel the pain, long for the truth of why you’re feeling it. In the end you will feel much better having relieved yourself of the burden. And anyway, it’s never going to leave you until you do. There is no escape.
We have so much sympathy for the innocent victim, we have none to very little sympathy for the perpetrator of the abuse. We fail to see they too were once an innocent victim, but had no chance remaining so. We don’t want to feel sorry for the monster, looking at all he has suffered to make him be so monstrous. We need to hate the monster, so we don’t have to face the truth of our hatred of our own parents, indeed of any parent.
|
They said: ‘We don’t care about you, you have to care about us’. Fuck them!
Are you trying to change yourself into someone else? Because your parents hated you, and you’re trying to do what you can to make them love you.
Has your child stopped crying because it’s learnt that crying gets it nowhere?
And did you learn that too when you were a young child? Feel like you don’t exist, then who do you think is to blame?
What’s the truth of your relationship with your parents? Are you scared to find out? The creepy crawly insidious spider always trying to get you, is... your mother.
Menopausal hot flushes - fear and guilt, fear and guilt. Waves of it surfacing. But do you go with all the bad feelings trying to find out what they are all about. No, you take pills to stop them. Blocking out yet more bad feelings.
‘I don’t know where he gets it from...’ Where? From you, his parent, that’s where. You’re the parent and you still don’t get it!
‘It won’t bring him back, there’s no sense going on about it.’ And what’s wrong with crying - and who says it’s about bringing him back anyway. It’s all bad feeling denial - you’re not allowed to cry over spilt milk. How unfeeling can you be!
We don’t mourn the wrecked one - the 'monster' - who’s lived nothing but a shattered life. We only mourn the innocent victim who’s had a good life. No one gives a fuck about the fucked one - and never has.
If we feel sorry for the monster we wrongly believe we’re giving him the power he shouldn’t have, but the truth is he doesn’t have any power anyway, that’s why he’s so desperately being the horrible person he is, all in an attempt to gain the power he feels so deprived of. What he needs, like we all need, is to feel wanted and cared about.
|
We accuse the child of being the monster,
not the parents who were monsters to their own child.
not the parents who were monsters to their own child.