blame and forgiveness
Your parents are to blame, they are answerable for everything wrong with you.
Blame them.
The parent curses the child for misbehaving, and yet the parent is only cursing what it has created.
The parent can’t blame the child when the child is only being how its parent has made it be.
Of course the parent can curse and blame the child, it can do whatever it wants.
It’s just a pity its child has to suffer for it.
Blame them.
The parent curses the child for misbehaving, and yet the parent is only cursing what it has created.
The parent can’t blame the child when the child is only being how its parent has made it be.
Of course the parent can curse and blame the child, it can do whatever it wants.
It’s just a pity its child has to suffer for it.
Who's to blame?
Are you a parent, have been one, or are considering becoming one? Look, I know it's hard, very hard, I understand, it's shit, and you as the parent are caught in a terrible bind. But it's just how it is. And how were you to know. No one told you. But, still, you are to blame. Because you are the parent. The child can't be blamed, and someone caused the child to become repressed. Ok, so you as the parent are just going to have to accept it. There's nothing you can do about it. Apologising isn't going to fix or heal your child. But uncovering the truth as you do your feeling-healing can. And if it won't fix your child, then at least it will fix yourself. This website, as you might have gathered, is not parent-friendly. And I point the blame squarely at parents. I blame my parents for fucking me up. And I have blamed them a lot through my feeling-healing - a hell of a lot. I have been so angry with them as my repressed yuk has surfaced within me. I have wanted to kill them a million times over, hack them to pieces, do to them what they did to me. I have wanted to make them suffer all the pain they made me suffer. And in my mind and during my expression of my bad feelings to Marion I have yelled and cursed them until I've become blue in the face. And I have hated them. Before my healing began I believed I loved them, but now I know it was only a fantasy, now I only hate them. I have nothing to love them for as they didn't love me. Perhaps you are like me, perhaps the truth of your relationship with your parents will be like the truth of mine; or, perhaps you truly love and feel loved by your parents, enough to ease the pain of your healing. I don't know. This website is of course an expression of myself, all that has resulted from my childhood repression healing. I had no interest in and no idea about any of this before my healing began. You might, if you are a parent, not like it, but that can't be helped. I want to say it as it is for me. And from all I have found out about myself during the years of my healing, if you feel brave and do want to know and so face the truth of your relationship with your parents, then I suggest doing your feeling-healing and see what comes up. The thing about being born into an unloving evil negative state of mind and will, such as we all have, is that it's just happened to us, we didn't consciously ask for it. But it has happened. And being a parent you are caught in the middle, for also are you the child. So in the end, perhaps no one is to blame. It is after all God's doing, God wants it this way, so perhaps God is to blame. In the moment of my bad feelings, and with their painful intensity, I blame my parents for what they did to me. However also, as my pain and bad feelings leave me being replaced by the truth, so do I come to accept my parents, for they didn't know what they were doing. And they too are victims of their unloving parenting. So I blame them and I don't blame them. And as I grow in truth, sympathy comes for them. As I understand. And, if nothing else, I would like to think that perhaps this website might help you also to understand. If you blame anyone or anything else other than your parents for your pain and problems, then you’re missing the point, and not respecting or being true to such bad feelings.
Forgiving your parents
It’s all very easy to do, much easier than allowing all your anger and hatred, all those repressed bad feelings you feel about your parents, to surface. My father was dying of cancer. My brother went to him on his death bed and dad admitted he wasn’t a very good father, and my brother forgave him - no hard feelings. It was all over, my brother believing he had divested himself of all his anger to do with dad not loving him; my father dying a little more at peace. His son forgave him, they were still friends, and that’s all that matters. I didn’t see my father before he died. I couldn’t let him off the hook because too many bad feelings were coming up in me. And I didn’t need to feel superior to him, to forgive him, to say: oh that’s all right dad, all is forgiven. I didn’t want to be the great one, I wanted to be the poor one, that which I felt, that which he made me feel and be. Forgiveness as we’re taught it to be, is just done on the mind level, not done through feelings and truth. True forgiveness comes as we reveal the truth of our childhood repression, as we uncover the truth of our denied bad feelings. Mostly forgiveness is merely using our mind to overcome yet more bad feelings, to bury them deeper so one can believe one no longer feel them. It’s all very easy to rise above them, to bury all the hard unsaid stuff, then to get on believing you feel free of the burden. And such freedom may last for some time, however in the end those denied bad feelings will want to re-surface. It is far harder to express all the pain and misery and hurt you feel. To not seek forgiveness for it’s self’s sake, but to seek the truth of why you feel so bad, knowing that with truth comes all love, and so naturally forgiveness. False mind derived forgiveness will only perpetuate your self-denying state, only making things much harder for you in the long run. It is yet another hurdle you’re putting in the way of ever feeling truly free. |
The criminal was parented to be a criminal, just as the law-abiding person was parented to be law-abiding. We are what our early childhood has made us. So who are we to judge.
Forgiveness comes through self-acceptance, which comes through truth.
It's said, the most unnatural crime for a mother is to kill her own baby. Why is it unnatural. Is the mother supposed to be superhuman or something.
Nothing will get rid of your bad feelings. You can murder your child, your spouse, your pet, another person - even killing yourself, but still you won't get rid of all those terribly bad feelings that are driving you to do it; that you are so desperately trying to get rid of. Nothing can or will do it, you can't get rid of your bad feelings until you bring them all out. There is no other way. Even if you killed the whole world, or yourself a million times over - your bad feelings are still going to be there. We only kill because we can't face the pain and truth of our bad feelings. We're trying to kill them out of us.
We grew up with the VOICE telling us what to do. It was in the home, at school, coming out of the mouth of virtually every adult. As adults we then tell everyone what to do and how to be, trying to have our own voice in control all over the place. And the ones who are good at it are the most false, the failures, more true.
Life IS our feelings, not our thoughts. We have feelings then use our mind to work out what to do. Our mind is there to help make sense of things, not to control and rule. The feeling is there, the mind works out what the feeling is. It’s wrong to live trying to control life using the mind blocking out feelings.
I feel I’m unhappy because I am untrue and disconnected from my real self. So it’s right that I don’t feel happy as I never will feel happy whilst I’m in this state. All I believed were good feelings when occasionally I felt happy, I now know were false.
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The child is NOT the horror - it is not the terror or devil.
The child has been intensely subjected to its parents already for years before it’s up and running.
The parents have made it be what it is.
The child has been intensely subjected to its parents already for years before it’s up and running.
The parents have made it be what it is.