the hardest to accept...
Who and what really are you scared of?
Your parents.
They are the monster that’s coming to get you.
Your parents.
They are the monster that’s coming to get you.
This is possibly the most difficult part, perhaps the hardest to face, and it goes something like this:
Why did the foetus die in the womb Why was the baby born defective Why did the little child die of cot death Why did the child get run over Why does the child get cancer Why does the child have to suffer any life threatening disease Why does anything bad happen to the forming person in the womb, the infant, the growing child? And why is because of the unloving influence of its parents. So once again, the parents are to blame. And many parents of such children believe and feel they love their child more than anything else in their lives - that they couldn't possibly love them anymore. However, no matter how you want to look at it, ALL - that is, EVERYTHING! - that happens to us, good or bad, from incarnation through to six or seven years of age, is CAUSED by our parents. And even though other people do have a huge input into our early lives, and even greatly hurting and harming us, still, as you will find in doing your feeling-healing, it all comes back to your parents. And as much as parents might not want to accept this truth about their dearly beloved little baby or child, they are still the cause of all its problems, of everything bad that’s happening to it, of all its suffering. And just because their child might get killed by some freak accident even when they weren’t with it, still on deeper levels - those that will be revealed through their feeling-healing - the parents will see it has all manifested in theirs and their child’s life because of their negative influence on it. And it doesn’t matter how loving its parents are, they are simply not loving enough because of what their baby or child is going through. And by being not loving enough, means, they are unloving because they are not living true to their feelings - true to themselves. And that mostly all the love they do feel is not love founded on truth, but ‘love’ contrived by the beliefs of their mind based relatively on experiences formed mostly during their early lives. And it sounds very harsh and unfeeling, even unloving, for me to say such things, however they need to be said. We can’t get away from it. We live in a terrible state that we’re refusing to see. And just because we don’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there. It is there, and if you do want to uncover the whole truth of yourself, then you will see. And parents can shirk the blame and not take responsibility for their actions by using medical science or saying it’s an act of nature or of God, or whatever they like, but still one day they will have to face the truth, and it will all be done through their feelings. So they will feel what they have done to their little children - all the bad things. And ALL parents will feel ALL the bad things they have done to their child (and there will be huge amount of them), And not just those parents who’s baby or child has died or been born deformed and defective or has ‘contracted’ some dreadful illness. All parents, even the most ‘loving’ whose children happen to grow up without any outward obvious signs of feeling bad and without any bad things happening to them. And this I state because of all I have uncovered about myself, my early life, and my relationship with my parents through my childhood repression feeling. And I may be wrong in what I say, but then again... I may be right. The problem as I see it is that we don’t understand, so don’t accept, the impact we have on a child - on a new person coming into Creation. We fail to understand that parents are not meant to control the child making it be how they think it should it be, but instead they should merely be the custodians, lovingly and unconditionally guiding, not controlling and seeking to have power over the child; understanding that the child has all it needs within itself, within its own soul, making it capable of bringing itself into life if only it were freely allowed to. If only it were to freely express itself how it felt to. So we fail to understand that when we die of cancer, of mental illness, of some other illness or some bad condition, no matter what age we are, that we are dying in this unloving way, all because we weren’t truly loved when we began - that our parents have caused our self-rejecting death. And that all of our life is merely the outworking of all that happened to us during our forming years. The fifty year old man who died of a heart-attack, really died because of how his parents treated him from conception through his early childhood. And it’s the same for the sixty-five year old woman dying of cancer. It’s the same for why any and all bad things happen to us through our lives. And we can blame our death of cancer in our old age due to smoking too many cigarettes, but this is only the means to bring about the end, the smoking and cancer simply being brought about to show the truth of what’s really going on within the person - that which went on when they were little with their parents. All been shown through the feelings, not so much the actions or the things involved. We don’t get it. That we are unloving, irrespective of how loving we might feel or believe we are. That that ‘love’ is irrelevant because of the greater damage we do to the very child we love so much. That we are evil, living evilly no matter how good, kind and caring we might feel and believe we are. That we can’t be all-loving because we were never fully loved. And that no one has been fully loved so felt fully loved for aeons on our world. That we're all conceived into a self-denying, truth-hating, love-rejecting negative state of mind and will. And until we decide to end our self-destroying way of life, no amount of so-called ‘love’ that we might feel, will do any good. And the fact that we still fail to understand why we feel bad in life and why bad things happen to us; and why we persist in living in such a cruel and greedy way, wondering why life isn’t the most fantastic, wonderful, fulfilling, enlightening, exciting, thing, making us feel ecstatically happy and filled with love feeling so loving in every moment of every day, is testament to the fact that we’re seeing it all around the wrong way. And if you do want to see it around the right way, as hard as that might be for you; if you do want to uncover the truth of all your misery, pain and unhappiness - to know why you are suffering, then do your feeling-healing. Start to accept all those bad feelings you are denying; start to express all the pain, and start to long with all your heart to know why you’re feeling bad. |
From conception we're learning about life.
Every little thing we go through is about how life is for us - EVERYTHING. And it all gets set in place through our forming years; all to manifest continually through our adult years. Apparently someone called Peal S. Buck (1892-1973) said, “Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together”. However, is making your child feel bad, hurting your child, really loving it? How can doing the opposite to love be loving. This shows how deluded we are because I imagine most people would probably agree, saying that it is with love the parent scolds, teaching its child what is right and wrong and how to live in the world so it will be able to get along and not be punished for breaking the rules. The child needs to understand the structure, it needs to be given guidelines, and it needs to be forced into it, even if in a ‘nice’ way - which is right, seeing as though we live in a false and evil way. It needs to be bashed into line so it too can be evil. All its natural rebellion against all that’s evil needs to be crunched out of it, it needs to be brought into line. And isn’t it said that the children not so disciplined will be wild, wreaking havoc and abusing the system, which is also right, as they show up how controlling the system is with the greater freedom they feel.
It’s not about whether you speak well or not, or even if you express yourself well or not; and it’s not about what you achieve in life. It’s only about living true to your soul.
It’s hard to go back and speak about all the horrible things. And who can you tell anyway. Is someone going to sit with you year in year out every day listening to you express all your bad feelings you’ve kept repressed.
How can you open the can of worms without going insane, without your whole life and self falling apart. Which we’re not allowed to do. Scratch under the surface and we want to kill, because we - our soul - was killed.
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Oh she was such a wonderful mother, of course she beat the living daylights out of us, which she should have done, we were such little horrors, but oh she was so caring and loving. We read it time and time again in autobiographies. The author choosing to block out all the bad-feeling parts, selectively staying with the good feelings. They just don’t see the horror inflicted on them, excusing their parents’ cruelty, calling it instead - love. How deluded are we?
Thinking you’re all right
If you’ve grown up relatively happy in your negative state, then you’ll most likely be more than happy living within it. Sure you might have certain tragic experiences in life, but so long as the good times return, the bad experiences won't be dwelt on. And when you end up successful, with your good job, nice house and happy family, then the world and life confirms that everything is good and really there is nothing to worry about. You’re all right. However if you grow up relatively unhappy, an outsider to the mainstream, unable to participate like the majority do, being a failure, then you’re able to be more objective about the realities of life. You won’t be looking through rose-tainted glasses, you’ll be more real and true to your love-less negative state. And you’ll be more in touch with all your hurt and pain, that caused by your unloving parents, and you won’t live a deluded life preferring to sweep all the bad stuff under the mat, because you won’t be able to. You couldn’t do it when young so you won’t be able to do as an adult. Or, you might be relatively successful at keeping your head in the ground for a certain amount of time pretending you are all right, but in the end there’ll be no escape. You will not be able to think that everything is all right, because it’s not all right. And the difference between these two states in the negative is determined by the level of acceptance you received as a young child - how much your parents accepted you as being all right, and how much they controlled you. |
We’ve all got disgusting monsters in us that one day will have to come out. We’re all full of yuk - hatred, anger and misery, and guilt. The people who can’t maintain the nice acceptable superficial layer show more truly what’s really in us all.
It’s not about trying to live right by the worlds standards, it’s about striving to live true to oneself. Which invariably goes against the world. It’s about striving to express ones feelings all the time and wanting to see the truth of why one is feeling that way.
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If your child is fighting you in any way, it’s a good sign, that it still has some will left of its own to stand up to the evil controlling parent that you are.
So what are you going to do?
Keep going until all the spirit has been knocked out of it,
or... truly love it perhaps... or at least try to.
So what are you going to do?
Keep going until all the spirit has been knocked out of it,
or... truly love it perhaps... or at least try to.