the tragedy
The greatest tragedy is:
Our parents teach us how not to love ourselves and each other.
Our parents teach us how not to love ourselves and each other.
The tragedy is what truly happened to us during our early childhood. Our lives and the world we create can only be an expression of that tragedy. We are all tragic.
The parent shits all over the child, the child takes it, it can’t do otherwise, accepting that’s how its life is.
The child grows up shitting all over its own children - that’s what it learnt to do. The adult child now blocks out its own childhood bad feelings - all those dreadful feelings it felt when shat all over - blaming its children for not behaving. Its children are wrong and bad and are such a trial. Then the child who’s become the adult feels so guilty for having been such a bad and terrible unloving and ungrateful child, wanting to apologise to its parents, now that it is one, now that it knows what parents suffer - what they went through and had to put up with. The child, now the adult, has completely turned against itself as that young child. It feels no sympathy for its own children, treating them as it was treated. The unloving feeling-denying cycle endlessly repeats itself - adult siding with adult against child, its own child. We do one thing to counteract another thing all so we won’t feel bad. And then that counteraction requires another, and yet another and another, and so on it goes until we no longer know who we are, until we lose ourselves living untrue, and creating a huge bundle of problems for ourselves all based on our counteractions. And so you end up, just as you are: a complete dysfunctional screw-up, that is, so far as living true to yourself is concerned.
Okay, so you think you’re a loving parent do you. So you feed your baby its bottle when you say it’s time, and you strap your baby and toddler in the pusher and that’s that. Your child has no say, there’s no natural affection, no equality - so how can there be genuine love if you are not equal? You do it all how it suits you, you are in complete control. And all your child can feel is powerless, totally defeated, and as an adult it will still feel utterly powerless and dependent, yet telling itself it doesn’t feel like this, believing it feels in control. And then it will do the same to its children.
We’ve been made to feel loved by the falseness. We say we love and are loved, but are these loving feelings being experienced by our true self or our false one?
God wants you to express yourself in Creation. Your parents took over from God saying they know better making you be how they want you to be. You’ve ended up becoming their creation. And that’s why you don’t feel good, it’s why you don’t feel loved. Our parents make us be how they want us to be. And if we’re good and do what they say, then they praise us making us feel loved - they might even tell us they love us. So they love their creation, the unreal, untrue false self we’ve become - a product of their vanity. They don’t love the natural pure and true self that we should be. ‘People are stupid, I tell them all the time, go to the doctor...’ So the woman said. And then in the next breath she’s recounting her experience of her latest accident and how she refused to go to the doctor whilst suffering great agony. We are great ones for telling everyone else how to be, and yet we don't take our own advice. Which actually makes sense, because if we weren’t like that, we wouldn’t be telling other people how be, it having been how we were told to be.
True courage in our world is accepting your bad feelings, letting yourself feel as bad as you do feel. Not fighting your feelings saying it’s wrong to feel them or let them get the better of you; that you have the courage to overcome them and that you’re okay when you’re not.
We do it all by default. We don’t understand that how we parent is not loving. We fail to see the truth deluding ourselves that what we do is right and loving, when by default we’re screwing our children up, rejecting them, parenting with lies, installing false values and incorrect beliefs within them, and disrespecting their feelings making everything into a fantasy. Making them be just how we were made to be.
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We’re punished if we show we don’t feel loved.
So we can never be true. And all we do distracts us from this truth. We’re killing the child in ourselves that was killed. Over and over we’re killing our childhood as it was killed. And now you’re doing it instead of it being done to you. However, sadly that’s not quite true, as it’s still happening to you only you’ve chosen to forget and bury the feelings of this truth.
Whilst trapped in our negative self-denying minds, our children are nothing more than an extension of ourselves. We can’t relate truly to them, so don’t allow them be a freely independent person. We're not a free independent person ourselves.
Why doesn’t my life work...
Because your early childhood didn’t work. Nature puts its feelings first, why don’t we?
A tantrum is NOT putting on an act. No one throws a tantrum if they feel good. A tantrum is a feeling - lots of very intense feelings, and feelings about how badly you feel they are treating you. So as an adult you then say: ‘I was such a bad child throwing all those tantrums, giving my parents such a hard time’. But this is only doing what they did to you, by putting yourself down, and telling yourself off. Blame yourself not your parents. The parents are never bad, the parents are never to blame - only the child. The child is the bad one.
We hate children. We don’t get it: we’re all still repressed children.
We make a world believing we’re in control and know what we’re doing and know what it’s all about, yet we don’t have clue. We live as adults suffering unconscious of our subconscious - which is only all our repressed childhood feelings we refuse to acknowledge and become aware of. We tell ourselves off because we were told off. Will we ever wake up to the truth of ourselves that our feelings want us to see - I doubt it. One day nothing will work for you anymore. One day it will be time to start honouring and accepting ALL your feelings. One day all that is wrong will cease to be.
One day. Eating organic and keeping yourself fit is all very well, however you’re only keeping yourself healthy in your negative state.
With every moment, with every breath, with every second you were taken further from your true state. It was a harrowing process. It’s caused you a lot of serious damage. And we just call it life.
One may be a very feeling-expressive person, however if you’re not doing anything with such feelings - using them to help you uncover the truth of yourself, then such feeling expression won’t help you heal your negative state. It will only serve to keep you in it being part of your self-denying pattern.
Look at the world and can you honestly say it’s a good place to be and a great way we live.
We are all wrong, all we do is wrong. And when you allow yourself to wake up to this truth, my god, how wrong we are! And although it's all such a horror, so tragic, such a traumatic experience, it is all very valuable. And even though I am wholly on the child's side, all parents are still themselves children.
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If you do think you are free in life, then sadly you’re very deluded.