We do not accept children how they are.
You are only seeing yourself in your child.
You’re not seeing your child for the person they really are.
We try to change children to be as we are.
We don't accept ourselves how we are.
And how can we when we weren't accepted as the child we were.
You are only seeing yourself in your child.
You’re not seeing your child for the person they really are.
We try to change children to be as we are.
We don't accept ourselves how we are.
And how can we when we weren't accepted as the child we were.
MUMS and DADS
STOP!
Are you concerned
about the effect you're behaviour is having on your child?
Have you put yourself in your child's place?
Are you on your child's side?
Put yourself in your child's place and feel how it feels.
Feel how you felt when you were a little person.
Supporting the Free Child
For parents, prospective parents, and anyone wanting to shed light on the negative effects of parenting, and their childhood repression.
STOP!
Are you concerned
about the effect you're behaviour is having on your child?
Have you put yourself in your child's place?
Are you on your child's side?
Put yourself in your child's place and feel how it feels.
Feel how you felt when you were a little person.
Supporting the Free Child
For parents, prospective parents, and anyone wanting to shed light on the negative effects of parenting, and their childhood repression.
Hi, I'm little james and I'm six.
I want my mum and dad to love me – always, but they don't. Sometimes they treat me unlovingly, which makes me feel bad – really bad. I wish they could be me and feel bad too, as then they might stop being mean to me.
I would like to ask all mums and dads to put themselves 'in' their child, to feel how their child feels. Then they might be more loving of their children.
I have a very hard time being a child. Mum and dad say that they have a hard time with me, but I don't see them crying, screaming, protesting, resisting, all because they feel so bad.
Mum and dad say I'm naughty because I throw a tantrum, that I'm too old to have tantrums, however, if they felt as bad as I did; if they stopped and put themselves in my place and felt how badly they were being treated, then they would understand my 'bad' behaviour. Then they might stop doing what hurts me and what makes me feel bad, so bad, that I have to yell and scream and have a tantrum.
Mum and dad say they know what's best – they are the smart ones – but if that is so, then why don't they make me feel good all the time. Why do they make me feel a lot of the time, rejected, unwanted and unloved? I don't like feeling these feelings. I wish they would stop treating me badly and try to understand how they are making me feel. Then I might feel they do care about me and what I'm feeling. Then I might feel wanted and loved.
These pages are for all you mums and dads, and for all other people who want to be mums and dads; to help you put yourself in your child's place so you can feel what your child feels. And if you do, then you might be a better mum and dad. Then your child might feel a lot better – happier – and best of all, LOVED.
little james.
What is a broken heart?
A child that feels unloved.
A child that feels unloved.
Big James says:
that when the child is hysterically crying, screaming with rage, it's just releasing pressure. All it’s feeling is too overwhelming for it to deal with. It's feeling traumatised, lots and lots of terrible feelings, but it isn’t aware of exactly what these feelings are. It’s just feeling them and reacting to them.
And what we can do when we get older is go back into these terrible times and feel all the bad feelings. And by doing that we – you, as I’m not old enough to do it yet – can find out what was happening to you to make you feel so bad. You can uncover the truth of your relationships with the people who traumatised you, and understand why they didn’t love you: why they treated you so badly.
He says it’s very hard to do and it’s not nice feeling all those terrible feelings all over again, but when you do, and when you uncover the truth of why you’re feeling them, you feel much better.
So he says that why he is telling me things, and why he wants me to write about all my feelings, is to help people – possibly like you – to gain a better understanding of the child; your own child, the child you once were, and the child you still are – even though you're a grown-up. To understand that the child is feeling lots of feelings and all very intensely all the time, and if it’s not properly loved and treated in the right way… well, then it feels very bad.
He says we’re not doing this so people who want to be mums and dads, or who already are, can learn to be better ones by saying ‘Oh I do that. I treat my child that way, so I had better not’. We are doing it to help generate a greater awareness of the child. To help people see that the young child is ALL feelings, and such feelings are VERY important and shouldn’t be mistreated. He says we want people to relate to their children by relating to themselves through their feelings.
Big James and I welcome you to these pages on our website.
I would like you to please (Gran says I have to say please as it’s good manners, but I hate manners because they stop me from being free) read my stories. They on the following pages.
Bye from me now, again,
little james… (and of course, bye also from Big James, after he says some more below.)
Big James says:
It's a raw deal for mothers. They are left to do it all themselves. They are with the child influencing it more than the father who escapes off to work. Both equally have a negative affect on their child: the mother by being with it; the father by not being with it. But the mother is going to cop the brunt of the blame, just as no doubt it will be the mother who puts herself more in her child's place.
Although this web site will appear super critical of parents, and in particular, mothers, please understand we are sympathetic to your plight. We are not trying to beat you up. But the truth still needs to be revealed.
So how are you meant to parent, not neglecting your children or traumatize them, yet at the same time do all the things you need to do to survive?
And really, is there a problem with how we parent? People have been managing to raise their children and survive for eons. And those children have grown up to have children of their own.
And that is the problem, as all the while the child suffers. Just because the child grows up and has children of its own, does that mean it feels loved and is completely happy with its life? Is your child happy? Does it feel as loved as it would like to be? Are you happy? Do you feel as loved as you'd like to be?
It's time to get tough, the suffering has gone on long enough. When are we going to stop traumatizing our children and stop calling what we do: 'being a good loving parent'?
Have you put yourself in your child's place? Do you know how it feels? Do you really know... or do you just believe you know? And do you care? Do you really want to know?
Your parents told you how to be, so you tell your child how to be.
No one is allowed to be free.
No one is allowed to be free.