false power
Why your life is a mess, why you feel like such a mess, is because your parents treated you this way making you feel this way about yourself when you were young.
Power.
It should be: power with, NOT power over.
It should be: power with, NOT power over.
False Power
One of the difficulties facing people wanting to do their childhood repression healing is having to give up their false power. No one wants to feel powerless, feeling it feels very bad. And yet it’s something you will feel often through your healing if you want to completely heal and give up your negative state of mind. Had we grown up with positive minded and willed parents, then the power we’d have in our lives would be natural power, that coming from feeling loved, secure and sure of ourselves. And with such power we wouldn’t need to have power over another person or power over nature trying desperately to re-gain that which we feel we’ve lost. We would instead feel our humility, enjoying giving and sharing in the wonderment of creation. However, as we haven’t grown up in a positive mind and will environment, instead by default being subjected to and so taking on a negative one, so our natural power has been replaced with false power. When you are little and your parents stop you from expressing yourself as you want to, you feel powerless. You are trying to ‘grow’ yourself into life through the expression of your will requiring your natural power to do so, the power of your will, however should this expression of power be thwarted in any way, then as you can’t be all-powerful you can only feel powerless - a most dreadful feeling. When you feel powerless you feel unloved. When you feel unloved you feel powerless. And you feel rejected, unwanted and uncared about. And any slight rejection of you, should you be criticised, chastised, reprimanded, punished, spoken angrily and aggressively to; any behaviour by your parents that makes you feel bad, that makes you feel unloved by them, makes you feel powerless. The very people who should ONLY and EVER make you feel loved so you ALWAYS feel powerful are stopping you, telling and showing you that you can’t be as you want to be, that you must obey them being how they want you to be. And this is very bad, it has devastating consequences for you. And it leads to your childhood repression. Look at a toddler, he or she is just beginning to walk finding great joy in their new feelings of power. They want to toddle over there, but you, their so-called loving parent, says no, you can’t go there, stop that, don’t do that, and you force your child against its will to do what you want. You the parent gets your way, you are allowed to express your power and feel good doing so, but is that how your little child feels? Are you allowing it to feel good about expressing its power - about expressing itself? And being that little child, how do you think you'd feel, being so unlovingly controlled by your parents? As an adult if you want to do something and someone else says no, you can’t do that, and forces you to stop doing it against your will, how do you feel? Very angry. So when your own parents make you feel powerless, not only do you feel very angry but also very unloved and rejected by them, they not wanting you to be as you want to be, they simply not loving all you are - everything about you. And feeling unloved by your own parents, feels really bad. Throughout your early childhood, right from the very beginning, countless times are you subjected to the controlling and dominating influences of a superior will, and you hate it. Each time it happens you feel like you’ve been knocked down, as if a great weight has been dumped on you, and naturally you try and fight back against it, trying to assert your way and will, trying to be how you want to be. Yet often with your parents this only meets even harsher resistance (you only have to listen to the screams of protest from young children in the supermarket, or anywhere else, let alone in the home). And your will as the child takes a further beating as you’re forced to give up being how you want to express yourself. So you ‘throw a tantrum’, your last desperate attempt to make them listen to you, to tell them they are hurting you, that they are doing you irreparable damage, that you will never be the same again, that a part of yourself is being killed as its being stopped from expressing itself - stopped from coming into being. They are god deciding for you which experiences you can have and which you can’t, they are stepping in taking over your life, they are living it for you, you no longer having a say. And they come down harder and harder on you until you fall into line, until you become the ‘good boy or girl’. And in doing this your parents still believe they love you, as they crush the spirit out of you, de-powering you and making you feel rat-shit. Daily as we're growing up we are subjected to many de-powering and humiliating experiences, each one having a negative impact on us - hence the formation of our negative powerless condition. And as our parents don’t allow us to express all our anger, hurt and frustration - and our confusion at feeling unloved by the very people who are meant to love us and who we want to love us, we have to push aside, suppress and then keep repressed, all such terribly bad feelings. To feel powerless means you feel your life is being threatened. The cornered creature feels powerless and fights to regain its power trying to fend off the aggressor that is trying to assert its will over it by making it into a meal. Feeling powerless as a young child coming into being, means your life is being threatened before you are even really getting going. And you do all you can to fight for it. You cry, yell, scream, express your fear protesting for all you’re worth. You only have to look at the desperation in the eyes of the crying child who is near the end, who has fought giving it all it can, and yet it still can’t make its life be how it wants it to be. Its parents are just too powerful and at some point it breaks, its gives in, it accepts that its life is over and its going to die. Yet for most of us we don’t die, not physically at least, but on other inner, deeper levels, a part of us does die, we lose a part of our true self, that part which isn’t allowed to come into being freely expressing itself. You can see the little children who are so often confined to their pushers giving up, who have given up, their sad faces of misery. No one cares about them, no one loves them, their parents are nothing but unloving tyrants, they are full of despair unable to feel good about themselves or their lives. No one wants to feel powerless, it’s not a good natural feeling and yet we’re forced to feel this way countless times through our forming years. So we grow up developing patterns based around such powerlessness, these negative self-denying, self-defeating patterns, forevermore repeating them by unconsciously making things happen in our adult lives so we can keep feeling rejected, unloved and powerless. We have to keep honouring our patterns, we can’t be any way other than how we are - how our parents and carers have made us be. So if our parents have denied us love making us feel powerless in any way, then we unconsciously accept this is how life is for us, it becomes part of us as we’re forming in their anti love state. And once our early childhood is over, all such negative patterns remain in place. So we’ll always need things to happen us - which they do - to keep making us feel powerless and the same bad feelings we felt when our parents made us feel powerless. The things that happen are of course not the same things our parents did to us, we’re no longer that little child, however it’s the same feelings we need to keep feeling, so all sorts of things happen in our adult lives to keep us feeling such feelings. So we wonder why we’re beset by all manner of unloving and unpleasant things, but if we look at the feelings they make us feel and seek the truth of them, then we can find out why they happen to us, all in keeping with the demands and requirements of our negative love patterns. However for most of us, we were not just kept in a powerless state all the time. Our parents didn't have continual power over us, so we used every opportunity we could, and especially if it was sanctioned by them, to try and reassert ourselves regaining some of the power we felt we lost. So mostly within our family environment we learn ways of gaining power, or being able to assert ourselves and get something of what we want, yet it’s all still within the existing power regime of our parents. So we grow up deluding ourselves, particularly when we ‘leave’ our parents, that now we are ‘free’, and it’s our turn to have all the power. But sadly this all happens still within and under the unconscious control and dominance of our parents, all because our patterns have formed within this state. So many people setting out as parents declare: ‘I’m not going to parent my children as I was parented, I don’t want to treat them as I was treated’, doing what they believe is being different and more loving than their parents. But are they? And how can they when their patterns are all firmly fixed in place. They can try their hardest, and even if on the surface it seems like they are more caring and nothing like their parents, still if you knew what to look for, you’d see on a feeling level they are still making their children feel as their parents made them feel, as they can’t do anything else. And how many times does the parent when stressed suddenly start behaving as their parents behaved, doing the exact same things they’d vowed never to do. People who grow up able to feel they have power in the world being able to do what they please and live how they want to, are doing so still within the existing power systems of their parents world. It’s acceptable for them to behave this way, the essence of which they formed during their early years. So really it’s all just a false power, not true and real power being generated by and used to express a positive mind and will state of being. And this is how we live in the world. We live using our false power to survive, so all we do is wrong, wrong for us, and wrong for the world. Because we weren’t allowed to live true to ourselves as children, we can’t do it as adults irrespective of what the adult might believe. We all live untrue to our true nature, so we’re all false people with no idea as to what it would be like living and being true and real. And it doesn’t matter who you are, whether you are the most ‘loving’ self-less person, or the most unloving selfish one, the power you feel you have is false power. And you will have to keep being self-less in a desperate effort to gain the power you feel so bereft of, just as will the selfish person have to keep being as they are to gain their power. Everything anyone does, everything you do, will be done in a vain attempt to gain power, and all because you feel powerless. And so as you work your way through your childhood repression healing you will be made to face all you are doing that is wrong and false and for power, being able to uncover the truth of why you do it, how you were made to do it, and the affect your doing it has on yourself, others and nature, all being achieved through your bad feeling acceptance and expression. And it’s a humiliating process, to be stripped back having your false and insincere unloving motives revealed, and seeing what an arsehole you are and have been, and how much you’ve contributed to fucking up the world, and worse - your own children. And your feeling-healing will strip you right back to nothing, with every tiny bit of false power leaving you as you break down and bring to light all your negative mind and will patterns. The healing process is one long owning up to and admitting that you are wrong. That you’ve been made to be wrong, that you have taken all the wrongness on from your parents; that they too were and are wrong, and your life is nothing more than a useless pathetic expression of false power. And believe me, what you’ll see about yourself, will not be good. So many people in the world who believe they have some say, who believe have some power, try to ‘make things better’, yet such desires are all being generated by their deeply buried feelings of powerlessness. And no matter what they might achieve, it will still be wrong. It might make living in the negative better - a better standard of life, yet it’s still all wrong. It’s still not living with true and pure motives as would be expressed by a truly positive mind and will. Many parents understand that they should give their children greater freedom, that to control them is what damages them, and even though this is true, it doesn’t necessarily follow that such children will grow up with less of a negative mind and will. It only means their patterns will be somewhat different from their parents, but they will still be suffering. And why this is so is because parenting is more than just allowing your child to be free or not. I observe parents who control their children and I can see their children suffering. I observe parents who are much freer with their children and I can see they too are suffering, only in different ways. And what all these children are suffering from is not having a true relationship with their parents, a relationship in which the parent is genuinely interested in and loving of their children. And were a parent this way, then it would just naturally parent its child allowing its child to maintain its natural power and so be naturally free. A child will naturally feel free, and will indeed be free - free within itself to express itself as it feels it wants to - ONLY when its parents are entirely of a positive mind and will. The truth such parents would live would enable them to naturally parent their child as they are - it couldn’t be any other way. So the child would grow up with a positive mind and will just like its parents feeling all the joy and benefits of this. And the relationship between parents and child would be as loving as could be. And one day, when parents who have done their childhood repression healing, having healed all of their negative state, have children, humanity will see the first truly free child. And what a glorious day that will be! |
It’s weird love, when you can so easily punish your child.
The best thing that happened to me was not having children - not having someone I could subject to all my shit.
Not having someone I could corrupt. And someone who will one day wake up to the truth that I didn't love them. Do you want the ultimate power rush? Then have children.
Parents congratulate themselves on all the effort they put into raising their children.
All the effort it takes to subjugate the will of their child to their will. All the effort it takes to take a pure and perfect little being of love, and turn it into an evil feeling-denying big horror called an adult. Yes, good on you - a job well done. You definitely deserve a pat on the back. If you feel upset about being a parent as you come to realise that you’ve caused your child a lot of problems, then remember, you too are a child.
The child does bad things because its feeling bad. It doesn’t know why it does the things. All it does is a plea for help. Yes, the child wants the attention, of course it does, but if it doesn’t know love having never received any true loving attention, then it’s going to do bad things for the attention it wrongly believes is love. The child wants the attention so someone will love it. And wouldn’t you? And loving adults should be able to interpret the signs being able to ask the child why it does what it does, helping it to express itself, all with the understanding of how difficult that is for such a tortured and tormented child.
It’s about healing the effects of not being truly loved by our parents, so we can become loving and feel loved. Evil makes one believe being obedient is being loved, but you don’t feel loved, you have to pretend you do.
How many parents love the idea of their little beautiful baby and child, but not the actual person itself. If you truly loved your person the child or baby you’d never get angry with it, never feel annoyed, frustrated, impatient or disturbed by it - you’d only love it. Your baby or child would NEVER made you feel bad, only good, only more loving feelings for it. Such so called ‘love’ is not true love, it’s loving the fantasy, the picture of what your baby or child is to you. So when it makes you angry disturbing you in any way, when it makes you feel bad in anyway, it’s only doing so because it’s changing your picture that you don’t want to have changed. And you want it to stop, to go away, to behave itself, for shouldn’t it know how you want it to be, it being after all your baby or child. Mum and dad said they loved me, but it wasn’t me the person as I feel no love from them, it was me the picture they had of me. And they forced me to believe the picture as they believed it, so I believed I loved them. I put my true self aside turning myself into an acceptable picture.
“Always be true to yourself and others” so it’s sometimes said. But how can you do both? You can’t. It’s either true to yourself or true to others being untrue to yourself. We were made to be true to other’s - our parents, and not true to ourselves. That’s our biggest problem.
If the child is cunning and manipulative, then it’s already lost, it should have had what it wants, it’s needs should have been met. If our needs are met, then we’ve no reason to become distorted. We turn our children into evil monsters then accuse them of being evil. They don’t know they are evil, nor have set out to be evil, they’ve been made to be what they are by their evil parents.
Some of us are taught to be annoyed with ourselves - was that how it was for you? So express this annoyance too. Express all anger at yourself for feeling bad and being wrong.
No matter how great you think you are, the truth is you’re fucked and a completely horrible and evil thing. And you’re destroying the true nature in yourself, in your children, and in nature itself. That’s the truth we’ve all got to face.
Because we weren’t allowed to stay focused on ourselves, we’re projecting out there on everything all the time, trying to make it as we believe it (us) should be. If we were true and stayed self-focused, that being focused on our feelings through our feelings, and not on our mind using our mind, how would we want our world to be? Possibly as God has made it?
We grow up in our own little microcosm, we know nothing else. Our parents are our great leaders, we become as they are, even if we don’t want to. We believe they are right and we go out into the world with such beliefs. We become yet another fucked person living a fantasy life. We’re nothing more than a collective of people living fantasies. When it’s said life is nothing more than an illusion, really what they should be saying is it’s nothing more than a bunch of fantasies.
We can only project our own state onto everyone else. If we feel happy we assume everyone feels happy; if we feel irritated, angry and annoyed about something or someone, we assume everyone else does too.
More loving parenting:
WE WILL BE NICE TO YOU IF YOU’RE GOOD. Strapped in his pusher the boy starts whinging. ‘Do you want an Easter Egg?’ ‘Yes I do!’ ‘THEN STOP IT!’ |
The only point to evil is realising there is no point... and then what do you do?
Give up and do your feeling-healing.
Give up and do your feeling-healing.