looking for the truth
As you will see, the truth of your unloving condition is caused by your parents.
Looking for the Truth
The key to healing your childhood repression, no matter what route you take, is uncovering the truth of what caused it. And uncovering it through your feelings. We can’t actually uncover or grow in truth through or with our mind, even though a lot of people seem to think we can. Many people can quite easily express feelings, good and bad, however few want to use those feelings to take them deeper into themselves. And this is how we grow in truth, which in our case, owing to our start in an anti-truth life, means having to embrace, accept and express ALL our bad feelings, so we can find the truth of our negative patterns. Any good therapy will help you uncover the truth of yourself through your feelings. Any bad therapy will help further cover up that truth. Because we’ve been hurt so badly as young children, we’re in a lot of pain and have a lot of anger resulting from such treatment, but we suppress much of it. And until we allow it all to come out, and until we see it for what it is: what is causing it, what happened to us, what our suppressing of it is doing to us, and why we are keeping it all repressed, we’ll never be free of it. The negative patterns will remain in place and we’ll remain ignorant of the truth. But to face such underlying hurt and pain is very difficult because it brings us directly into having to face the truth of our relationship with our parents. That the relationship wasn’t loving, our parents didn’t love us how we needed to be loved. And as so many people so desperately want to feel loved by their parents, and want to live in the fantasy that they were loved by them, to turn against such conditioning is very hard. To uncover the truth - the whole truth - of your early childhood hood and forming years, could mean the end to your relationship with your parents. It could mean the end to your part in your family, the end to your having anything to do with your relatives. And to face this, to consider being ‘alone’ in life without the usual family support, can be too traumatic in itself. However, if that is where your childhood repression healing leads you, then that is what will have to be done. I turned my back on my family as I started my quest for the truth of myself in earnest. And the more I felt I wanted to live true, the more I knew I had to give up doing all those things that were obligations, ‘just the way it was’ in the family, all those things expected of me yet which I never felt good about doing. And there was in the end no nice way of doing it. No matter which way I went, as soon as I started to say no, no more, I don’t want to do that, I came up against anger. I wasn’t free to be as I pleased, I never had been, it was always as everyone else pleased, as mum and dad wanted me to be. So it all came about that in one fell swoop I turned my back on them all, and that was that. And it was the best thing I could have ever done. I needed the space and time by myself and with Marion, to see if it was the right way to go, if indeed all my bad feelings about the family were true and not just because of other reasons such as simply my needing time out and a bit more space on my own. I was after all in my mid-thirties. It was about time I left, however neither they or I thought I’d be doing it on a permanent basis. To heal all of your repressed childhood feelings, to uncover the truth of why you have them, means you are setting out to finally take matters into your own hands, to finally start to love yourself. To give yourself all the love you missed out on. And to separate from your family and parents may be the only way you can really come to terms with your inner pain, to allow yourself to accept it, express it and find the truth of it. However, that’s also not to say everyone might need to instantly and completely turn their back on their family as I did when they start to get serious about growing in truth. It might be that you need to be with them dealing with all the bad feelings that come up in you as you carry on with your normal relationships, all to help you get more in touch with the feelings you are dismissing and denying, all to help you uncover the truth you soul requires you to see. It all comes down to the simple understanding: if someone is mean to you, if someone treats you badly, if someone hurts you, if someone causes you pain, would you want to have anything to do with them? So when you discover that your parents were mean to you, treated you badly, hurt you and caused you lots of pain... then what do you do? Do you keep living denying yourself, putting your bad feelings aside pretending that your parents weren’t mean to you and they didn’t hurt you, that they were loving and caring of you? Or do you give up the fantasy, face the hard reality and accept the truth. A lot of people believe they can participate in all sorts of religious or spiritual systems growing in truth whilst still maintaining ‘good’ and ‘loving’ relationships with their parents and family. However in this they are mistaken. They won’t be growing in truth. They will only be advancing their minds control over themselves by adhering to the beliefs of the system. They will be doing all their parents and family did to them, treating themselves without the respect and love they do need to truly grow in truth. All of the spiritual and religious systems that exist in the negative uphold the family and ones obedience to ones parents as a major part of being a good ‘Christian’ or whatever it is. And yet all this does is keep the whole rotten thing in place. You will never be able to uncover truth, and the truth of what your real relationship with your parents and family is, if you adhere to such evil and misleading beliefs. It’s a very sad state of affairs, but the truth is that for humanity to heal itself of its repressed childhood, it’s going to have to openly reject its family and parents. This being done by each individual. You are going to have to reject your family and parents as they rejected you if you are to heal yourself of your negative state. And yet for anyone to dare say that the family and parental institution is the greatest evil on the Earth, is going to be called mad, the anti-Christ, one of Satan’s minions, because who in their right mind would say anything bad and against the family and parents? And because of this fear the evil keeps its control over us all. And so if you want to free yourself from its clutches, you’re going to have to come clean about how your family and parental relationships do actually make you feel. You’re going to have to bring out all the bad stuff. And if by the end of your childhood repression healing you do still feel love for your parents and family, then you will know that love is genuine and nothing will ever take it away from you - it will be true. However, if by the end of your healing you feel no love for your parents and family, and so don’t feel loved by them, then you will at least be living a real and true life having given up all pretence, obligation, falseness and fantasy. No one wants to accuse parents of being wrong. The one sacred piece of ground we all have is in our own households, in our own family, in which we can be free to do whatever we want. And we can be free to believe all the delusion, all the falseness, all the lies we want to tell ourselves. No comes into our family (unless you are in a very bad way) and says you are unloving how you treat your children. And yet we all are. We’re all unloving, that being what our negative condition is all about. And yet few people will be willing to accept this, and to work on themselves to see if it is true. Most will want to cling onto all the ‘love’ they do feel, all the love they believe they feel, because to give up such love, to find that perhaps it might not be as they think it is, would be too horrendous to even contemplate. Yet, if you want to do your childhood repression healing, that’s where you’ll be going to. Down into all your darkness, down into all your pain, all to see if what you feel is love for and from your parents and family is true. That is uncovering the truth of yourself. It’s the horrible truth we don’t want to face, and yet it explains why we have all the pain we do. Some examples: All the pain you suffer with cancer - is the pain you suffered as a young child with your parents. All the pain you suffer from the car crash - is the pain you suffered as a young child with your parents. All the pain you suffer in your joints as you get older - is the pain you suffered as a young child with your parents. All the pain you suffer from relationship break-ups and difficulties - is the pain you suffered as a young child. All the pain you suffer when someone dies you love: your pet, friend, child, even your parents - is the pain you suffered as a young child. And all the bad things that are happening to you to feel such pain, are only happening because of what happened to you when you were young. Bad things happen to you as an adult because bad things happened to you as a growing child. Good things would only happen to you were you parented with love, making you only ever feel good. And so on it goes, any pain you suffer now as an adult, not matter the reason, is there to show you the pain you suffered with your parents during your forming years. If you hadn’t suffered such pain with your parents then you wouldn’t be suffering such pain now. All the bad stuff that has made us feel such pain when we were young, from conception through to six or seven years old, will continually be manifesting in one way or another - yet not necessarily all at once - throughout our adult years, including when we die and go to live in spirit, unless we do our feeling- or soul-healing. We are conceived into a negative, so unloving state of mind and will. And no matter what happens to you in your adult life, it’s all happening to you should you want to see the truth of it - the truth of how it’s making you feel. And you can find the truth by doing your feeling-healing, all of which will lead you back and deep into yourself to see it is all a result of how your parents, family and early carers made you feel. That is the truth of life facing us, that is what we have to accept if we want to do anything about healing the real underlying causes of our pain. And if we don’t, then we’ll carry on as usual. Bad things will happen from time to time, we’ll do the best we can within them, yet all along continuing to avoid and so reject as many of the bad feelings as we can. And by doing so, ensuring we stay trapped in our negative state, never growing in truth, never healing the real causes of our pain, always deluding ourselves that things will get better, that life isn’t that bad; that we love our parents and family; that things are good - continuing to live in our life of fantasy. As hard as it may be to face and accept the truth, irrespective of what you think you know about life, your soul will keep bringing the pain up within you as required by the pattern of your self-denying state, all until you stop, accept, express and uncover its truth. Then, and only then, will the pain end. |
We’ve got it all around the wrong way. It’s all back to front; upside down.
And you’ll only see the whole truth of it through your feelings. Begin using your mind to see it by all means, but it won’t be until you feel it, that you will know. Facing the truth
Healing your childhood repression is not a matter of dealing with a few psychological problems from your early childhood. It’s much more than that. It’s a journey of truth; a journey to discover the whole truth of yourself. So if don’t want to know the whole truth of what really went on when you were young, you will limit your healing. Facing the truth is very confrontational. You are confronting everything you are denying. All those bad feelings you are trying not to feel will come up for you to feel, and you have to allow yourself to feel them so you can uncover the truth of them. And it's in the uncovering of the truth that you heal. So no truth, no healing. People can speak all day long about how bad they feel, but if they don’t want to know the truth of why they really do feel bad: what’s really going on deep within them to make them feel bad, they won’t get anywhere. Good psychological help helps you to uncover the truth of yourself, and it does it by your acknowledgment and acceptance of your bad feelings. Acceptance of all the bad and yuk and terrible parts of you that are making you feel so bad, rejected, unwanted and unloved. The healing of your childhood repression is one long personal psychological journey of feeling-discovery, all leading you to find the hidden truth of yourself. What drives the healing of our childhood repression is a continual and strongly sustained longing for the truth – the truth of our bad feelings; the truth of ourselves. But we have to be prepared to accept whatever the truth is that comes up inside us, even if we don’t like it. And if we don’t like it, more bad feelings and yet more truth to find. And it’s by continually longing for and desiring the truth, and wanting to live true, that will steer you clear of your mind playing tricks on you like false memory syndrome. When you submit to your bad feelings allowing them to take you back deep into yourself, all the while longing hard for the truth, the truth will come. It will just rise up spontaneously in you and what you will see and understand about yourself you will simply know to be true. And this makes you feel good. The truth does set us free, but we have to find it. And unless we do our feeling-healing we never will, as it will always remain locked away in those parts of us that we’ve denied and keep repressed. Healing your childhood repression is a journey of self-discovery: discovering the truth of yourself – who you really are, and what you have really experienced. It’s a spiritual journey as it will engage you on all levels. And from my experiences it’s the only true spiritual path you can live, with all other spiritual paths only serving to further help you deny your feelings, and so deny yourself and keep your childhood repression in place. Your feeling-healing can be done just with your own self-love. It will lead you to a state of natural or self-love perfection. Your soul-healing, will do all your feeling-healing does and advance your spiritual growth much further. The inclusion of God broadens the whole scope of your childhood repression healing, taking you much further into yourself, making you deal with more than just your repressed bad feelings. It makes you deal also with your relationship with God. Dealing with your childhood repression is dealing with your humanity: what makes you the person you are. And if there are some elements of you that you’re not happy about, then by healing your repression so too will you rectify them. All of you will be brought into perfection as you start to heal yourself and live true. If all of us, all of humanity, did our childhood repression healing, then we’d bring the whole of humanity into perfection. We only live untrue, and in a world that is anti us because we are anti ourselves. We are slowly killing ourselves globally as we slowly kill ourselves personally, as we continue to deny our bad feelings. Your freedom and feelings of being free are only a delusion. Once you were conceived you gave up your freedom.
It can’t be any other way being incarnated into a world of control. Once your parents started to control you, you had to work out how you could delude yourself that you are still free. And when you left your parents you could start to put all that delusion earnestly into place. But the truth is: you’ve never left them. Poor are the happy ones living contentedly in their self-denial.
Rich are the unhappy ones never feeling good, but being closer to their truth. We’re scared of death because we already feel like we’ve died.
And we don’t want to feel all those bad feelings again. Turn yourself inside out, and you’ll be getting closer to the truth.
In Australia the government even gives us financial incentives to have children. It being all a part of the evil that’s taking us away from our true feelings.
It’s not about yelling and screaming out your trauma - although that certainly has its time and place - it’s about it all coming up as you express your bad feelings in the ways you need it to help you uncover the truth of yourself.
The why comes - eventually,
through your feelings. |
We’ve got to get to the point of knowing and saying why we are the way we are - the Truth.
And when you hit it, you know, you get a nice calm, peaceful and ‘That’s it!’ feeling.
And when you hit it, you know, you get a nice calm, peaceful and ‘That’s it!’ feeling.
It’s what we all have to see: that our relationship with our parents - no matter how good and loving we might believe and feel it to be - is fucked.