sex
Sex, the great escape.
Sex is great for blocking out bad feelings.
All that passion is so much better than all those bad feelings.
All that passion is so much better than all those bad feelings.
If you’re doing your feeling-healing, bring it all out, all the sex stuff, all the weird, perverted stuff. You’ve got to speak about it all. The depraved deviant side of you - you being the depraved deviant, needs to be accepted for what it is. And that can and will only happen by speaking about it. By saying how you feel about it all, saying what you do and think, and what you fantasise about doing - what you want to do, what you done to you. Don’t keep it a secret, don’t hide it. If you do it will only serve to keep the whole rotten you going. And don’t worry that you are rotten, it’s a part of being in the negative, we’re all rotten, even the so-called most angelic person. So if you feel embarrassed, guilty, silly, stupid, like you’ll be punished, hated - despised, called horrible names, own up to such fears and bad feelings. And bring them all out. The only way to truly heal yourself is to own up to, honour and accept, all the really bad stuff. To speak about it to someone who cares about you and will listen sympathetically and not be accusing or judgemental of you. All so you can bring it out and then see how you feel about it, how it makes you feel having it all out in the open. All so you can uncover the truth of why you are it, why it’s in you.
'I’ve got this really bad thing I’ve got to speak about. It’s something that I am, that I do, that I dream about doing. I hate it and love it. It’s a sex thing, and it’s about other women. And I’m so scared that if I tell you you’ll hate me, you’ll think very badly of me, you’ll think I’m perverted and depraved, and worst of all, this being my greatest fear: you’ll leave me. And I’m shit scared of being left. Because you’ll leave me and then laugh at me. You’ll tell other people that I have this sexual perversion and everyone will know and everyone will laugh at me. No one will like me. And I’m petrified of feeling rejected and unloved by everyone. But I have to tell you, I have to bring it out to honour this part of me, as I am it, it is me. So here goes, is it all right with you if I tell you about it? When we’re growing up, the world is our parents. So when we’ve grown up, the world is still our parents. It’s not until we free ourselves from our parents world, this being achieved by doing our feeling-healing and not just physically by leaving our parents, that we can start to live in our true world.
I was totally ignorant of all of this before I started my feeling-healing. It’s all come about as a result of my seeing the truth of myself through my feelings. And it’s only how I see things, it might apply to you, or you may see things differently. And as I grow in truth, how I see things will change. So it’s only how I currently see things - all that I am writing. As part of the truth I’ve revealed to myself though my feelings, I’ve come to understand that through sex I wanted to reunite with mum, I wanted to get back into where it was safe and warm. I wanted to go back so I could start again. I wanted to be re-born. And if I had a child, I’d be trying to live my new life through it. But what I’ve also discovered is it wasn’t as safe in the womb as I believed it was. It was in fact my torture chamber. But I had nothing else. With sex I wanted to gain power, great power, the power that comes with the rush of orgasm. I wanted that power and more, always more power, because always I felt so powerless. I wanted power over the woman, I wanted her to do as I said, I wanted her to come to me willingly offering herself. I wanted her to be mine, mine to do with as I pleased. I wanted it so I could possess her, so she could be my possession. I wanted it to be with her, just how mum was with me. It’s not that I’m rooting my mother, or even want to, it’s just that I project mum onto every person, and especially women, so I’m constantly relating vicariously to her through every woman. I expect every woman to be mum, I do it unconsciously because mum was my world, and I’m still only relating to life through my child world. And will continue doing so until I’ve freed myself from her control, that being when I’ve healed my negative self-denying state. With my girlfriends I believed I had found my fantasy mother, my nice mother, the mother who loves me, cares about me, likes me how I am. And I wanted to run away with them, to escape from my bad evil mother into them. I wanted to feel loved, warm and safe. I wanted them to look after me. I didn’t want them to be mean and nasty to me. I wanted them to only say nice things to me. I wanted my dream to come true. But it never did. You want to find your true soul-partner, your soul-mate, and if you do, then you can live happily ever after. However it doesn’t work like that, because at some point all your repressed childhood yuk is going to come to the surface. Then the illusion of bliss might end, and then what will you do. Then you and your soul-mate might be faced with doing your feeling-healing together. And if so, and if your relationship can withstand the onslaught of so many bad feelings, then your true soul-mate relationship will have begun.
So many people believe they have found their perfect partner because they get along so well. They never fight, always agree on everything, like being two peas from the same pod. But all peas are different and living in a negative state, such as we all are, if you do get on so well, it means you’re perfecting your delusion, living denying so many aspects of yourself, so many bad feelings, that all that’s left are the so-called good ones. But it’s a farce, a lie. If two who are truly soul-mates come together to live in their negative states, it would be for the purposes of helping each other do their feeling-healing, not to perpetuate their fantasies.
So many people believe they have found their true love because they don’t feel bad when they are together, only feeling good. But if they are honest they might be able to see how much of themselves they are putting aside so as to maintain the illusion of passion and love. Compromise, if you have to do it, then it’s not true love. It’s only more self-denial.
We’ve been made to believe that you’ve got to have a healthy sex life, and that life without sex is not worth living. And we’ve been made to believe we’ve all got to be beautiful, beautiful by the standards of those people who want to make money out of it. And we all know it’s crap, well most of us do, but we’re all so heavily entrenched in it, it being a part of our early life, that it’s dam hard to get rid of such wrong beliefs. But through your healing as you speak endlessly about all your bad feelings to do with such limiting and self-denying beliefs, they do go. In the end you will be free to simply be yourself. And what a relief that is.
Do you have to get married? You don’t have to do anything. Do you have to have sex? Do you... No you don’t. You only do what you feel to do. And why you do what you feel to do is where the truth comes in. If you want to know.
All your fantasies, not just the sexual ones, have to be expressed. They are all there within you because you’ve been make to be untrue. They are all there to give you feelings of power because you feel so powerless. And they are all standing in the way of you being real.
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A wank a day keeps your bad feelings away.
If you could have unlimited sex, sex all day long, feeling great sex feelings continually, would you do it? And if so, and if you’re truly honest with yourself, why would you want to have sex all day long? What is it that you’re trying to run away from?
Having great sex is having great sex, it’s not a true statement of love. Nor is it a statement of how well suited you are. If your relationship is based around your great sex, then you’re both seriously deluding yourself.
Sex is not love. And love is not sex. Sex is sex, and love is love. And you can have love without sex and sex without love.
Sex is not evil, sex is sex. Money is not evil, money is money. Evil is evil. We are evil, whilst we’re living untrue to ourselves.
Your sexual fantasies are very important, share them with your partner... if you want to find the truth of why you have them.
Addicted to sex?
Only the truth of why you are, will set you free. Addicted to anything? Only the truth of why you are, will set you free. You can’t pretend it’s not true, that it’s not happening - honour your feelings if you want to live true.
Otherwise - pretend all you like. How can you truly know if you are soul-mates? You can’t until you’ve completed your feeling- or soul-healing. Because by then you’ll be true, and until you are true, you’ll still be lying to and deceiving yourself.
It is that soul-mates come together to help each other progress deeper into evil, deeper into their negative anti love states. Or, is that they come together to help each other grow in love, truth and light. And if that is to happen, then you’ll be helping each other heal your unloving states.
It’s not divorce that’s the problem, it’s the people.
It’s only ever the people. It’s not the sexual problem, ‘he’s over sexed or sexually abnormal’, that causes one to rape and kill for sexual reasons, it’s why there is a sexual problem in the first place. One’s sexual problem, like all problems, is only an expression of ones childhood repression. It’s what went on during our forming years that’s caused our sexual perversions and to have sex as a problem that we need to look at closely.
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It doesn't matter what you feel, think, or believe - if you want to find your soul-mate, then you're going to have to heal yourself of all your feeling-denial, of all your negative and unloving ways, of all your evilness, of all your falseness.
To relate perfectly to your soul-mate, means you'll first have to be perfect, so healed of all your relationship and self-expression imperfections. It can't be any other way.
All other soul-mate stuff, even if the feelings are very intense, is still only about living out your fantasies.
So to live true to yourself so you can live truly with your soul-mate:
you're going to have to do your feeling-healing.
To relate perfectly to your soul-mate, means you'll first have to be perfect, so healed of all your relationship and self-expression imperfections. It can't be any other way.
All other soul-mate stuff, even if the feelings are very intense, is still only about living out your fantasies.
So to live true to yourself so you can live truly with your soul-mate:
you're going to have to do your feeling-healing.
ALWAYS - HONOUR YOUR FEELINGS